100 ways to Annoy Edward Cullen!
by Amy2421
Summary: I was REALLY bored when I made this. But it made my sister laugh, so take a look!


Many ways to annoy Edward Cullen!

1: Coat yourself with something sticky, roll in glitter and run around shouting "OH EM GEEE IM EDWARD!" Make sure Edward is in the room.

2: Crank call him saying that Elmo knows were he lives...

3: Tell him woman think dogs are hot.

4: Superglue a sign saying "Team Jacob" to his back.

5: Organize a group of Jacob FanGirls to attack him for hating their love.

6: Also Edward fan girls.

7: Tell him his eyes look like pizza. (No clue were that came from...)

8: Get Vampire hunters to come to his school. Get them to sit next to him. Film what happens.

9: Get him a dog. Call it Jacob. Make sure the dog is ugly. Then bring the real Jacob over and tell him Edward bought the dog himself, and came up with the name. Film what happens.

10: Tell him he is ugly.

11: When he says anything, interrupt him shouting "OH MY GOSH THE SPARKLES! IT BURNS!"

12: Get an Edward doll and Jacob doll. In front of his face, have the dolls make out. Tell him the doll's know all.

13: Call him emo. All the time.

14: Scream "JACOB LOVES YOU!" loudly in his ear. Say that Jacob sent you to tell him that. Run.

15: Cover Bella with ketchup. Then freak out saying "OH MUH GAWD JACOB FINALLY SNAPPED!"

16: Kidnap Renesseme. Blame Mike.

17: Tell him Invader Zim would kick his sparkly butt. Scream it in his ear.

18: Ask him where he got his contacts.

19: When he goes anywhere, follow him. In a crowded area freak out and scream "RUN! ITS A PLASTIC SURGERY MONSTER!"

20: Wear a tinfoil hat so he cant read your mind.

21: Randomly scream "POTATOES!" Whenever he is near you. When he asks why, burst into tears and call him a bully for not respecting your tastes.

22: Cover his car with sheep blood. Tell him Jasper did it.

23: Pour pink paint on his face and body. And paint everything he owns pink.

24: Spit in his face. Run.

25: Get him to drive you to La Push. Stand in the werewolf's side. Hold the keys to his cottage house thing above your head.

26: While in La Push, call him a bloodsucker multiple times. If he tries to attack, jump over to werewolf territory.

27: Call him a noob. A lot. Don't explain why.

28: Photoshop a picture to make it look like he and Jacob are kissing. Show it to Bella.

29: Sing E.T. By Katy Perry whenever you see him and Bella together.

30: Read books about vampire hunters. Watch Duffy the Vampire Slayer. Make sure he is with you. When he asks you about it, tell him: "Can't you take a hint?"

31: Call him Sparkle-Butt in public.

32: Hum The Duck Song whenever you are near him. Sing it in your head too.

33: Hide an alarm clock in his room. Make it go off every half hour.

34: When he and Bella kiss, scream "EW! KISSING! EW!"

35: On his piano, spray paint Jacob+Edward Forever.

36: Lock him in a room with nothing but a cup of human blood.

37: Blackmail him into kissing Jessica.

38: Send fake love notes for him from Jacob.

39: Insist he and Jacob are in a relationship.

40: Tell him the Vampire Slayers come tonight!

41: Force him to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

42: Destroy his piano. When he gets mad tell him that Emmett was arm-wrestling you. On the piano. Emmett's idea.

43: Get Jasper to make him feel like he is in Love with Jacob.

44: Tell him he is an awful husband for leaving Bella.

45: Dress him in ratty clothes and lock him in Alice's room with Alice.

46: Sign him up for ballet. Don't let him get out of it.

47: Lock him in an elevator. Make the elevator play the worst song you can imagine.

48: Force him to watch High School musical. All of the movies. No breaks.

49: Smack him with a flyswatter. Tell him you saw a fly.

50: Ask him what's it like being a bat.

51: Steal his cell phone and change the ring tone to "Baby."

52: Call him old. Everytime you see him.

53. Break his CD's.

54. Call him Ed, Eddie, Wartward, Wartface, Turdward, or Wart.

55. Cut in front of him and drive slow.

56. Burp loudly when near him.

57. Slip a pink sock in with his white clothes.

58. Bake him food. Cry when he does not eat it. Make sure you are in public.

59. Push him in sunlight. Then start singing Boy Hunter (Skye Sweetnam) really loud. Hold a gun.

60. Tell him he is obese. Break the scale so it says he is.

61. Start singing Toxic (Britney Spears) as loud as you can right by the door when you know he and Bella are about to make out.

62. Make fake pictures of him and Jacob making out. Show them to Jacob. Blame Edward. Film what happens.

63. Say he has a stony personality. Also his appearance is rock solid. Make other various puns about stone.

64. Dye his hair BRIGHT RED.

65. Scare away all the lions and bears when he goes hunting. Make sure he only eats deer.

66. Tell him to go vegetarian.

67. Plan an angry mob to show up at his house.

68. Convince Billy that Edward is making you give Jacob the fake pictures. Bring Edward to Billy's house later.

69. Tell him he is a stalker.

70. Steal his keys to his cottage. Hide with the werewolves.

71. Dress him up like Cinderella. Then start singing Cinderella (Cheeta girls) and jump around him.

72. Call up fangirls to glomp him at a certain time, all together. Make sure to film.

73. Tell him that he needs to tan. And to tan MAJORLY.

74. Play hide and seek with him. Hide in La Push, in werewolf territory. After a day, come out and shout: "I HAVE WON! LOSER! VICTORY IS MINE!"

75. Tell him you support gay rights. So he does not need to worry. Pat his head. Start to sing Born This Way. (Lady Gaga.)

76. Hide a heating pad under your clothes. Tell him you have gone werewolf, and he smells.

77. Trick him into going into La Push.

78. Make a life size cutout of Jacob. Hide it in his closet. Run from his room screaming "OH MY GOSH HE HAS A CUTOUT TO PRACTICE WITH!"

79. Steal Alice's credit cards and hide them in Edwards wallet. Tell her he did it. Film.

80. Tell him you are a dog person.

81. Call Jessica, and tell her Edward likes her, but doesn't into show it. He would love for her to stalk him.

82. Hire various fangirls to stalk him.

83. Post an add in the paper: Hot sparkly model! Will do things for free! Put his phone number in. Make sure he sees it. Blame Emmett.

84. Hit him with sledgehammer. Many times. Tell him you wanted to see if it hurt him, since he was so awesome and stuff.

85. Tell him he plays the piano badly.

86. Scream in his ear "WHY ARE YOU SPARKELY? WHYYYYYY ARE YOU SPARKELY? OH EM GEEE DID YOU USE GLITTER LOTION? WHYYYYY ARE YOU SO SPARKELY?" Run.

87. Tell him Bella like Mike.

88. Laugh at something. Wear tinfoil hat. When he asks what are you laughing at, reply: "Something I remembered. In my mind. I don't want to say it."

89. Tell him the vampire piggies are scarier than him.

90. Hum Barbie girl whenever he comes near you. Don't explain why.

91. Ask him if he knows what (Insert favorite show here.) is. He doe snot. Freak out and call him a jerk with no soul. Then run crying from room.

92. Call everyone at his school and tell them to wear Team Jacob shirts. When he walks in, start to sing Human (Skye Sweetnam) and wear your favorite shirt. Tell him that he needs a shirt, because he is not human. Force him to wear one. Show Jacob. Then sing Human again.

93. Eat ketchup. Make him think its blood. Tell him it's Bella's blood. Run.

94. Drop banana peels for him to slip on.

95. When he comes home, lock doors. All doors. Hide on roof. Watch him try and get in.

96. Show Carslie and Esme fake picture of him and Jacob making out. Tell them its real. Then hum Born this way.

97. Walk in when he and Bella are kissing. Stare at them. Sing Vampire Kiss (Nightcore). Walk out singing really loud.

98. Bribe a police officer to give him a ticket for speeding.

99. Watch the Powerpuff Girls on TV. Don't let him change it. Tell him he is like Bubbles.

100. When he gets mad at you for annoying him, burst into tears and call him a meanie bloodsucker. Tell Nessie. Let her get mad at him.

I have NOTHING against Twilight, I actually like the book series! But the movies suck. NO FLAMES PLEASE!


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